xiiaoniiao - are you like me?

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December 2009

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are you like me?

11:26pm 01/06/2009

are you feeling lonely and empty just like me? are you?
do you miss me? or... are you living happily, and just treat as if nothing has ever happened, and continue living your life as it is, going after jingni?

is she worth it? i wonder sometimes...can she be as devoted as me? can she?
can she give you whatever i've? can she?
i wonder, is she just a replacement of me? just for a moment because of what you're going through at that point of time.i don't know..i really don't..

all i had in mind is you..and only you...why is that so? sigh...will we even patch? will we?
i admit, i won't deny, i have the idea of patching up with you, i realise everything turn out to be tougher than i thought it would be. so what if we patch? the scar remains, unless you and i are ready to let all of these go. but....for you, is it possible? is it?

i really want to know.. did you cry that day, that night, did you even drop a tear of sadness, instead of happiness?
have you ever tried to love me as much as you wanted it to be?
have you ever tried making it up to me? trying to make up for whatever you have done.
did you regret when i wanted to break-up? have you ever thought of getting a patching after we have broken up?
do you still think of me?
do you still love me?
do you still miss me?

i have a million, a million of questions to ask you, because i still bother. why should i be bothering?
i know...i shouldn't...but i just can't help it..i just couldn't stop myself from bothering with all your stuffs.i tried, but...in the end...still...
looking at all the photos, thinking of what you've done with her, totally makes me feel like puking..make me feel so digusted..but the moment i see you, hear your voice, see your photos, see our smiles...it totally wipe out the digusted feeling that i had before and the hatred..

i really don't know what i should do now, think now.....

i am so messed up now...

mood:

depressed

music: There you'll be (faith hill)

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jouleian

04:01pm 05/07/2009 (UTC)

I know the feeling. Actually I'm right there with you and I whole-heartedly know what you feel like right now. And I wish I knew all of the right things to say to make it go away but I can't even do that for myself. All I can really say is that life doesn't get easier it just gets different and we all adapt. And unfortunately you may never get the answer to those questions. Just hold on tight one day there will be a moment in life that you sit down and realize it was all worth the hurt and every tear to get to where you are. Good luck

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found a new friend =D

xiiaoniiao

03:23pm 06/07/2009 (UTC)

I can't tell you how glad am i to have found a new friend who actually share the same sentiments as me, but i'm so thankful.

However, i would like to ask, you are? i don't seem to know you though.. ^.^

I know that things're going to get different and we all need to adapt, but adapting needs time and right now, i'm just hoping will just fly pass as fast as it could without me knowing it. Finding a guy to replace him isn't a very good idea, therefore, i've been packing myself with activities to prevent myself from thinking of him, wanting to call him and talk to him.

I'll try to hold on tight, but girl, there won't be promises.

Don't pin high hopes on it because i don't even have the confidence that i'm suppose to have. =)

All the best to myself and you.

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